Tuesday, November 4, 2008

The Mobile Locker Room

I’m a busy guy and trying to fit in workouts in three sports is a big challenge. To save time, I keep my workout equipment including swim and running stuff in my car. I use the passenger’s headrest to drape my swimsuit over to dry, and the back seat to hang and dry used workout towels. I have gym bags water bottles and other equipment recklessly strewn about. I call it my mobile locker room. My partners at work have expensive cars like Mercedes, BMW’s, and Porsches, and I drive a Ford Explorer mobile locker room.

The other day I had my kids in the back seat taking them to gymnastics meet. My son Braden, who seems to always express his opinion about everything, said, “Dad, your car stinks. It smells like a dead rat!” Well, I know for a fact and from personal experience that isn’t true. I have had the dead animal smell permeate my vehicle before and this smell isn’t close.

Dana and I were on the road to the Redman Triathlon in 2005. Suddenly, as were driving down the turnpike, there was a grinding noise in the air-conditioner and then it stopped working. I thought a belt had broken. So I just rolled down the windows and opened the vents. As the drive wore on a peculiar odor began to permeate the car. It was bad, really bad. Dana said that she was about to vomit.

I lived with the smell for a few days by driving with all the windows open. I am often forced to endure terrible smells at work like the smell of burning flesh and dead necrotic bowel. Necrotic dead bowel… Now that is nasty! I can tolerate bad smells. However, the stench had now started to take over the garage and I think the smell was even sticking to my clothing. I was unable to take it any longer. I took the car into the shop to see what cause of the awful smell was. It reminded me of that episode of "Seinfeld"when Jerry couldn’t get rid of the body odor smell the valet left in his car. Another link with video” The Smelly Car"

The shop guys couldn’t sit in the car very long either. “How can you stand it” they said .They opened it up the system and found chunks of a chopped up field mouse in my air-conditioner fan and hoses. Apparently, the vermin had made its home in my car air-conditioning system and met his fate when he walked into the spinning fan. They had to remove and replace the fan, hoses, and fumigate the car for 24 hours to rid it of its awful smell. Ughh! Eventually, I had to sell that car. I think the entire ordeal cost me a grand!

So, “No Braden, it doesn’t smell like a dead rat! You have no idea. “

I have to admit, my car is looking pretty messy. It needs a good cleaning. When my eight-year-old son complains about it, I suppose I should get it detailed. Maybe I will be able to do that in the near future, but until then the kids will just have to tolerate it and be glad that they don’t have to endure the smell of a dead rat or dead bowel.

1 comment:

Rainmaker said...

Hilarious. I know the feeling, at least now that the summer heat has died down it's a bit more mangeable.